


Halloween Loophole

by captainamergirl



Category: Isn't It Romantic (2019)
Genre: Comedy, Coupling - Freeform, F/M, Gift Fic, Laughter, hope my pal likes this!, some smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:23:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27188590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainamergirl/pseuds/captainamergirl
Summary: Crazy, cool things always seemed to happen to her on Halloween...[A Natalie/Blake one shot.]
Relationships: Blake/Natalie (Isn't It Romantic)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 4
Collections: Shipoween 2020 - The Halloween Ship Exchange!





	Halloween Loophole

**Author's Note:**

  * For [badritual](https://archiveofourown.org/users/badritual/gifts).



> This is for the Ship-O-Ween exchange. I hope my giftee likes it. I love this movie and this couple!

“Happy Halloween, Natalie!” Blake choruses when she opens the door. “Don’t you look especially beguiling this evening?”

“In this old thing?” Natalie gestures to her perfect hairdo and flirty black dress that is entirely inappropriate for date night at home. Donny had insisted on getting her all dolled up, though, refusing to allow her to loaf about in sweats and a tee-shirt as she’d preferred.

“You look perfect.” He holds up a small paper bag. “Guess what I brought?”  
  
 _“Handcuffs?”_ Natalie says. Forgive her, but she’s been trapped in this alternate reality for over three months and hasn’t orgasmed once. Horny as hell, those fade to black love sequences weren’t cutting it anymore.

Blake _boops_ her nose. “No, Silly,” he laughs. “I brought DVDs for us to watch.”

_Please let them be kinky. Please let them be -_

Her voice-over abruptly ends as she sees what he has pulled out of the bag.

“Rom-coms,” she says, struggling to keep her voice even. “Oh, god. You shouldn’t have. I mean, you _really_ shouldn’t have.”  
  
“It’s no bother. I thought we could watch a few and snuggle. I brought popcorn too.” He proffers her the popcorn packet, setting the offending DVDs on the table. They’re not even BluRay. This is her worst nightmare come true.

“But, it’s Halloween.” Natalie cringes, just looking at the stack. _Thirteen Going on Thirty, Sleepless in Seattle, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days_ , and the worst offender of all, _Pretty Woman._ A movie that glorified street walking. She couldn’t believe she’d ever found any of this shit romantic.

“It is Halloween,” Blake agrees in that perfect accent of his. “Such a nice one too. The weather is perfect. I saw a bunch of children in superhero costumes running down the street. Batman was chasing Catgirl. Ah, young love.”

“For all we know, Batman was chasing Catgirl because he wanted to steal her candy.”

“You are so cynical, Natalie. I love that about you.”

She looks at the movies again, belly clenching uncomfortably. “You know, Halloween’s not supposed to be about romance, right? It’s about ghosts and goblins and machete-wielding psychos cutting people’s heads clean off.”

Blake chuckled. “You’re so gruesomely beguiling.”

Natalie shook her head. “I don’t think those two things go together.”

“Oh, I think they do.”

“So, anyway, about these movies. You wouldn’t happen to have a copy of _The Exorcist_ hidden in your jacket pocket now, would you?”

_“The Exorcist?_ Is that the movie about the demonic girl?”  
  
“One of them.”

“There are a lot of demonic children in horror films. Once you’ve seen one of those movies, you’ve seen them all, right?”

“Hardly!” Natalie protests. That blanket statement applies to every rom-com ever made! _Those_ movies are all the same.

_“The Exorcist_ is a true classic!” Natalie insists. “The way that demonic kid vomits pea soup speaks to my soul.”

Blake shakes his head. “That’s another thing. Why are people always vomiting in those movies?”

“Because it’s fabulous to see! And a lot of times, they’re scared. When you’re scared, a lot of fluids just start coming out of a person.”

Blake wrinkles his pretty nose. “If I didn’t adore you so much, I’d think you were some kind of weirdo.”

“Says the weirdo trying to turn Halloween into Valentine’s Day.”

“Speaking of _Valentine’s Day,_ I brought that movie too.”

“Of course you did.”

“Ashton Kutcher is such a convincing actor. Don’t you think so?”

“No! Wait, are you being serious right now?”

“Absolutely. Ashton’s one of my favorite actors, although I admit, he’s got nothing on Tom Hanks. Now there’s a guy with talent. He is so romantic that he got Meg Ryan to fall in love with him in not one, but two, movies!”

“Yeah, don’t remind me.”

“I am starting to think you have something against romantic films.”

“Well…”

“You don’t like them?”

"No, I don't."

"Why not?"

“How much time do you have?”

“I have all the time in the world for you, Natalie.”

“I am sure you do," she says. "No one seems to work much in the rom-com world.”

“Rom-com world?” He asks. “Is that some kind of amusement park?”

Natalie’s lips twitch in a begrudging smile. “Never mind.” Blake is so adorably, utterly clueless sometimes. Alright, _all_ the time.

“So which movie will it be?” Blake asks. _“Runaway Bride? When Harry Met Sally?”_

“You’re persistent, but how about none of the above? I have a better idea.” She offers Blake her best attempt at a beguiling smile. “We should skip the rom-com fest and go straight for the creepy stuff. We can watch something on Netflix.”

“You want to watch a horror movie tonight?”

“Yes. So, what do you say? Please, _for me?”_ She flutters her eyelashes.

“I say… Alright!” Blake agrees. He tugs at the collar of his button-down shirt. He might break into a sweat at any moment, although, of course, he was probably too perfect for that. She’d be surprised if he was even born with sweat glands.  
  
Natalie gestures to the sofa. “Sit down if you'd like; I’ll make us some popcorn.”

Natalie takes the packet and walks to the kitchen on stiletto-clad feet. While the bag pop-pop-pops in the microwave and the enticing aroma of toasting kernels fill the air, Natalie grabs two beers from the icebox.

Pouring the popcorn into a large crystal dish, she heads back to the living room, juggling everything.

“Let me help you with that,” Blake offers, jumping up from the sofa and moving over to her.

“I’ve think I’ve got -” She stops as Blake is already reaching for everything and carrying it to the coffee table, setting it down just so.

Natalie picks up the remote for the massive 66-inch TV and moves to the sofa. “What shall it be?” She muses as she pulls up the app. _“Scream… Texas Chainsaw Massacre_? Oooh! They’ve got _Night of the Living Dead!_ It’s black and white, which makes it even more terrifying.”

Blake tugs anxiously at his tie. “Sounds great,” he agrees weakly.

Natalie drops onto the sofa, grabbing for the popcorn bowl. Blake sits beside her, his hip sliding against hers.

Her eyes widen _. “Blake?_ Is that -? Are you happy to see me?”

Blake smiles. “Well, of course, I am. You’re wonderful, and there’s no one I’d rather spend the evening with.”  
  
“Right, but your pocket… There’s a lump in it.” She wriggles her eyebrows. “So are you happy to see me or-”  
  
“Oh, that!” Blake smiles his perfect CW smile.

“Yes, that.” Maybe they would skip the movie and get right to the sex. If she’s lucky, maybe there’s some loophole in the rom-com world that allows her to experience orgasm on Halloween night. _She could hope._

Blake slips his hand between them. She closes her eyes in anticipation.

She hears a rattling noise, like buttons bouncing around in a paper box. _“Ta-dah!”_ He said. “Jujubes!”

“Huh?” She opened one eye, then the other. Holding the box out to her with a triumphant grin, Natalie felt some of her enthusiasm dampen. “Jujubes,” she said. “Oh. Not -” She shook her head. “I didn’t even know they made these anymore.”

“Of course. What would movie night be without them?”

Sipping beer and munching on snacks, Blake’s arm protectively tucked around her shoulders, Natalie relaxes a bit. At least they aren't watching rom-com movies! Thank god! It's just blood, guts, and gore!

“Oh god, I can’t watch this,” Blake moans as a zombie chases a woman down a long lane. “If he catches her -”

“He’ll eat her brains,” Natalie says. “Isn’t it grand?”

Blake’s arm drops from around her. He covers his face with both of his hands, peeking between his fingers at the TV screen. Natalie finds herself watching him rather than the grainy film. _He’s fascinating._

A brand new voice-over begins to play in her mind.

_Blake is so good-looking. Amazingly, wonderfully, shockingly beautiful. He’s also very complimentary and sweet. He was intent on watching one of those horrible romantic comedies, and instead, here he is, sitting beside me, having a heart attack every time zombies come on screen. He is making himself uncomfortable - physically uncomfortable - just to please me. What a nice guy. What a good guy. I could do a lot worse than a millionaire with a gorgeous body and a perfect face who says he’s in love with me._

_And then it hits me! Of course! The ticket out of this world is to fall in love with Blake! Fall genuinely, butt-crazy, head over heels in love with Blake! I can't pretend I’m in love. I have to be in love, for real._

Natalie threw her popcorn bowl aside. Kernels hit the ground. Taking a stiff swig of beer, she grabs for Blake’s hands, carefully peeling one finger at a time from his face. He turns to stare at her in surprise. “Natalie, I thought you wanted to watch the movie.”  
  
“It can wait,” she purrs. Tenderly, she feathers her fingers in Blake’s short, perfectly styled hair. She wants to mess it all up and get dirty. “I want to test out a theory.”

“What is the theory?” His voice drops an octave, his pretty eyes becoming smoky, heavy-lidded.

“Allow me to demonstrate.” Closing the distance between them, she begins to pepper the right side of Blake’s face with soft, teasing kisses.

Lips ghosting over his skin, trailing a path to his full mouth, Natalie sighs contentedly. Blake slides his hands around her, moving them slowly up her back as their mouths fuse. She feels oddly giddy as she tastes the beer on his tongue.

The kissing feels lovely. Blake’s strong hands rub slow, purposeful circles over her body, making her feel hot and desperate to be naked. “Natalie,” he murmurs, his breaths sounding as ragged as hers. “I want you. Right here, right now.”

On the screen, a zombie has disemboweled a man and is slurping his innards like spaghetti noodles. “Er, not right here,” Natalie says as he kisses the tops of her breasts. “Even I can’t do it during a horror movie.”

She grasps his hand and yanks him down the hall to her room. Candles magically lit on the dresser; the room bathed in a soft, romantic glow; she thinks of romance _._ She’s hated the idea of it for so many years, but right then, it doesn’t bother her in the least. She _wants_ to get romantic if it means she can finally experience the Big O. She trusts Blake, too, in some strange way.

Natalie pushes Blake onto the bed. Arching up onto his elbows, he grins. Letting her take the lead, she rips at his shirt. Buttons scatter across the floor. Working his jacket off as he gazes at her adoringly, she kisses the curve of his granite jaw.

“Natalie,” he murmurs. It sounds like Nat and Allie. Two names. _Sexy as hell._

What’s left of his jacket and shirt is in a puddle on the floor. Natalie grabs for his shoes, chucks them over her shoulder. They sail out the window, and a man calls back, “thanks! I needed a pair of these!” She just shakes her head and returns Blake’s greedy kisses.

Her hands move to his belt buckle. She nibbles her lip. Is this going to work? Will the wild magic of Halloween come through? Can she get him naked, and if so, will Natalie and Blake get to have sex this time?

“Here goes nothing,” Natalie says. She pries the belt open and slides the leather strap through the loops. Tossing the belt out the window, another boisterous thank you greets her ears. Natalie is determined to get Blake naked if it’s the last thing she does.

Blake lifts his nice arse off the bed. She tugs at the legs of his pants, and they slide right off, along with his boxers. “Don’t throw those out the window, too,” Blake chuckles. “I’ll have nothing to wear home.”

Natalie’s mouth gapes. He’s naked, and his dick is enormous! This is some R-rated stuff, edging into NC-17 territory even.

Blake meets her eyes. “You like what you see.” It isn’t a question. She nods mutely. “Now, I’d like to see you get naked too.” His hands move to the thin straps on her dress.

“Should we dim the lights or something?” Natalie asks. As much as she wants to see him naked, she is not sure she wants him to see her in return.

“Where is the fun in that?” Blake winks at her, slides a strap down her arm. Sitting up, he presses his mouth to her bare shoulder, suckling on the soft, pale skin. He cups one of her breasts and runs a tapered finger over the pebbled nipple.

“Oh fuck,” Natalie moans. She looks into his eyes. “Wait! I said _fuck!_ Ohmigod. Something’s happening. The magic of Halloween is taking effect!”

Crazy, cool things have always happened to her on Halloween. Like the time she found a hundred dollar bill stuck to the bottom of her tennis shoe. And the time she got lost driving in the country. Cold and hungry, she ended up finding a four-star restaurant smack dab in the middle of nowhere. The owners fed her well and treated her like an old friend. Then there was the time she got a promotion out of seemingly nowhere...

“Huh?” Blake asks.

“I mean, if I can say ‘fuck’ here, then I can probably fuck you. This is so exciting!”

“You’ve got a dirty mouth,” Blake says, but she can tell he’s pleased.

“Oh yeah? Well, maybe I’d like to put my dirty mouth on you. Lick you all over.” She’s so dirty! So deliciously dirty. Content like this would not make it into a rom-com. It would be strictly cutting room floor material.

“First things first. I want to make passionate love to you,” Blake says.

“If you insist.”

Blake tugs her dress down. Blushing from head to toe, she curses herself for not wearing the sexy, lacy underwear Donny chose for her. But Blake doesn’t seem to mind.

“You’re beguiling,” he says, eyes soft. “Just beautiful.”

“You are too,” she says. It’s true. Blake truly is a beautiful man in every way.

“Last part,” Blake says huskily, unsnapping her bra and sliding her panties down her legs. She steps out of her high heels. He takes her hand and pulls her into bed with him. He kisses and fondles her breasts.

“This is not some PG-13 shit,” Natalie says. “Not at all. Hallelujah!”

Marvin Gaye music mysteriously plays in the background. Blake parts Natalie’s thighs with a steady hand and eases atop of her. Her legs lock around his waist as he sinks into her. A string of curse words leap from his mouth as she clamps down on his hard length.

She screams wantonly as he pumps into her. “Fuck, fuck, _fuck!”_ She screeches. “I feel that. Oh, god, I do. This is the best sex I’ve ever had.”

Blake smiles. “You’re chatty in bed.” He presses his lips against the shell of her ear. “Don’t stop.”

_“You_ don’t stop.” Natalie rocks against Blake’s lean body, dragging her long nails down his back.

Bright lights pop before Natalie’s eyes. She’s so close to the peak. She can almost touch the sky. Blake reaches between their bodies and thumbs her clit. The heat of his touch sends her hurtling into the stars.

_“Blake!”_ She screams his name as her body shudders wildly. She’s never, ever had an orgasm this powerful. It feels so good, and she feels so loved.

All she has to do is fall madly in love with Blake in return.

_I'm already halfway there._

THE END.


End file.
